


One Day at a Time

by adventuresofcomicbookgirl



Series: Femslash Fic Bonanza 2016 [9]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Bisexual Character, Canon Queer Character, Canon Queer Relationship, F/F, Female Friendship, Femslash, Femslash February, Gen, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-01
Updated: 2016-03-01
Packaged: 2018-05-24 02:41:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6138556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adventuresofcomicbookgirl/pseuds/adventuresofcomicbookgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alphys goes to the dump with grim intentions and meets Undyne instead. Alphys doesn't know what to make of this strange woman.</p><p>"She was strange. Alphys had noticed her a few times at the palace, back when she actually reported in. She’d always seemed so scary. She’d figured her for some violent force of nature who ripped people apart with her bare hands and ate rocks for breakfast. And that impression had been absolutely correct. </p><p>Which is why Alphys could not fathom why this woman- the Underground’s hero, beloved by all, her smile shiny and her hair flowing in the wind, intimidatingly beautiful and unflinchingly tough- was taking so much interest in her."</p><p>What will she do with her life now? </p><p>This final entry for FemslashFeb functions as a sort of prequel for my first FemslashFeb fic. Deals with suicidal feelings, and of course, it's based off what Undyne said about her and Alphys' first meeting in the game.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Day at a Time

“I’ll definitely see you tomorrow, right?”

She said it with such conviction there was no other answer but “Yes”.

“S-sure,” Alphys managed.

“You’ve got to tell more about your inventions. And about the humans. It is _crucial_ ,” Undyne stressed, “For the protection of this kingdom.”

“O-of course.”

Undyne nodded and set off into the sunset, Alphys watched her go, completely numb. What was she going to do? She’d been ready to die at that dump, float away with all the other trash, but now if she did, it would disappoint this…strange woman.

She _was_ strange. Alphys had noticed her a few times at the palace, back when she actually reported in. She’d always seemed so scary. She’d figured her for some violent force of nature who ripped people apart with her bare hands and ate rocks for breakfast. And that impression had been absolutely correct. 

Which is why Alphys could not fathom why this woman- the Underground’s hero, beloved by all, her smile shiny and her hair flowing in the wind, intimidatingly beautiful and unflinchingly tough- was taking so much interest in _her._

She actually _listened_ to Alphys. No one had ever done that. Mettaton was the closest she’d ever had to someone who could tolerate her, but he had always very quickly gotten bored of her. And now he’d gotten what he needed, he was gone altogether. Even Asgore, who was so incredibly kind and would have tea with her and always be polite and wonderful… just stared and nodded vacantly when she got on one of her rants, clearly confused, lost, maybe even frightened. Bratty and Catty usually laughed at her and told her she was being weird, which she knew they didn’t mean anything by, but it still kind of hurt.

But Undyne…as soon as she’d started talking about her theories about the garbage, Undyne had listened with rapt attention, soaking in every bit of it, asking questions. And when Alphys got excited and talked fast, rather than being scared off, she got just as excited.

“Hell YEAH!” she’d scream, breaking a rock over her head for no apparent reason. “GARBAGE IS AWESOME!”

For once in her life, Alphys didn’t feel ashamed of herself as she talked. It was bizarre and almost scary. She felt sure this was a trick, a fluke.

But Undyne had kept it up. They’d gone from the dump to her regular lab and Undyne had been fascinated by every invention, though she hadn’t been as keen on the fridge.

“It may be SUPER HOT here, but it’s SUPER COLD where I am,” Undyne complained, chugging down ice water by the gallon. “I’d wonder why no one’s invented, like, a HOT fridge, you know?”

“Isn’t that what ovens are for?”

“Yeah…those are hard to use though. I keep burning down my house. Wouldn’t it be less work for everyone if things were hot already?”

“It’s an interesting thought…” Alphys mused, stroking her chin. “I might be able to put something together…”

Undyne had actually lifted Alphys into the air at this.  “THAT’D BE SO FREAKING AWESOME!”

Her house wasn’t the only thing Undyne could set on fire. Alphys was so hot by the time Undyne put her down she was ready to erupt into flames herself.

Undyne was also the first monster she’d ever met who’d been interested in her manga at all. She’d flipped through it excitedly. “Is this human history?”

Alphys had intended to try to explain what manga was when she opened her mouth, but what could she say? “No, those are comics about pretend things that I’m obsessed with. They’re mostly for teenagers, but I’m not all mature so I love them.” She felt sure she’d see that familiar look of disgust in Undyne’s eyes if she said it. She felt very strongly she didn’t want to see that from her. She wanted her to be different. So she’d said, “Y-yes.”

“Whoooooooa….” Undyne’s eyes had practically sparkled. “I had no idea…this is way cooler than I thought it would be. And I can totally be prepared for human attacks now! This is important information!”

And for the first time in a long time, Alphys had felt…like she was needed.

But now, watching Undyne’s back getting smaller and smaller, it was dawning on her that _this couldn’t last._

It was only a matter of time before she let Undyne down.

She knew this warm feeling that welled in her when she looked at this woman. It was a dangerous feeling- she’d felt it before when she looked at Asgore. She was starting to fall for her. Like she fell for him. And looked how that had turned out. Look at how utterly and completely she had failed him.

Undyne wouldn’t think garbage was awesome anymore if she had any idea how rancid the piece of garbage she had found in the dump today was. Alphys clutched at her labcoat, wadding it in her fist.  Undyne was the leader of the Royal Guard after all, she probably _knew_ some of them. Alphys could already see the betrayal, the anger in her eyes…even though she’d only known her a short time, it hurt to imagine.

She’d only found herself another person to disappoint. She needed to end it all before she really hurt this kind, heroic woman. Undyne would be better off not getting involved with her. She knew that.

She’d been so very close back then. She’d stared at the dropoff so long it had become hypnotizing. _Just one step._ It would be so easy. And there was no alternative.

She couldn’t keep going like this after all. She was exhausted. Every single day was a struggle that drained her completely. She was so tired of pretending everything was fine. She couldn’t keep it up anymore- she couldn’t keep avoiding their calls, their emails, looking at their desperate faces and knowing, knowing she would break their hearts. She couldn’t keep acting like the quiet disappointment in Asgore’s voice didn’t eat a hole right through her.

And mostly, she couldn’t keep up that fake smile and fake reassurance when she went down to that cold, barren place and looked at what she’d done to them. She’d begged them to kill her, once. It was their right. They’d just looked at her, like she wasn’t even worth it.

It was true. She knew her worthless life wasn’t enough to atone for the lives she had ruined- but it was something, and it was all she knew to do at this point. After a while, it had felt like the abyss was calling her. _Come down here where you can’t hurt anyone else. This is where you belong. It’s okay. No one will miss you._

Then, that rough voice had cut through everyone. “Watcha doin’? Looking at the garbage?” She’d turned and been so shocked Undyne was talking to her and even sounding gentle that everything else had fallen away. And it had been that way this whole time. For a short while, her exhaustion had eased and the weight dragging her down had lightened. Somehow, being with this woman she barely knew…she’d forgotten who she was, what she’d done and what she needed to do.

But now she remembered.

She sank down in her chair. “What are you doing?  You don’t have to know anything about her to know you don’t deserve her. And she sure as hell doesn’t deserve you.”

She was just some random woman, anyway. Who knew what she really thought? She might just feel sorry for Alphys and was just pretending…she’d probably end up leaving like Mettaton. She couldn’t cling to this chance encounter. It didn’t mean anything. Undyne might not even show up tomorrow.

She should go back to the dump right away.

Her phone dinged suddenly. Another plea from their relatives. She opened her eyes wearily and looked over at it…and saw Undyne had texted her. 

I’M HOME!!!! I WAS HOT BUT NOW I’M NICE AND COLD!!!! AND SO IS MY FOOD!!!! I HOPE YOU MAKE THAT HOT FRIDGE SOMEDAY!!!! I’D BUY IT!!! U COULD MAKE MILLIONS!!!! ANYWAY SEE U TOMORROW!!!!

She’d forgotten about the hot fridge. She looked over at her lab stuff. It was collecting dust. She hadn’t been able to bring herself to work since…that. All her experiments did was cause pain, anyway.

A hot fridge though…that was really simple. There was no way it could go wrong. And it would clearly make Undyne really happy.

She bit her lip. She’d hurt so many people with her science. It would be nice if she could use it to help someone for once. If she could leave behind something good in this world, however small…

She wanted that. She owed it to Undyne, as a thank you, as an “I’m sorry”, didn’t she? It would…it would be nice If her last experiment wasn’t something horrifying, but something nice. If she could end it on a good note.

She stood up, stretched and approached the lab table.

A hot fridge, huh? She could keep herself alive a little longer for that.


End file.
